Faithfuldame

I leave this December with a piece of my heart gone but never forgotten. God added a new angel for me up in heaven, since i have four on earth :) As the end of the year approaches i have a bitter sweet feeling inside... I have many dreams and resolutions for the up coming year. I pray to God that i will be able to conquer my fears and that my dreams will come true. i seek happiness and joy, I see things in their true form,enchanted and beautiful... It doesn't have to be pretty or pleasant. Sorrow,anger,and happiness are all emotions that can be beautiful in their own way. On that note, Christmas is my favorite holiday :) its so magical for me. from the gorgeous decorations to the story of the birth of Christ .... everything just seems so warm and cozy :) Im so thankful that God has blessed me with my animals. At this very moment i feel very content and grateful. My mind is full of thoughts... plans and dreams mostly... its very much like a fairy tale. This is only the start of man...

Love can be so so beautiful and rewarding if done the right way. Sex is not love, you don't have to have sex with someone for them to love you and be committed to you. At the same time love can be so painful, giving your trust to someone is a hard thing to do. I am 21 years old and about two years ago i decided, i wanted to stop fucking around, and i don't mean that literally but emotionally. I wasted a lot of time on a x boyfriend that can never get back, and now that look back on it i should have seen the red flags. I myself wasn't a complete angel, i would provoke him numerous times. but i wasn't happy, now i know he was only an escape from my problems at home and obstacles. Regardless of the shitty codependent relationship i had conformed to, i still cared for him. That's why when i found out of his betrayal it hurt so bad, i felt like someone had just thrown a giant rock on my heart. I had hit rock bottom. But this wasn't me and deep down i knew he wasn...

Now that the holidays are here, i miss you more and more.... Regrets are pouring from my mind I lie awake awaiting for your return, that will never come I seized the day to turn me numb because i cant seem to say Goodbye My companion is gone, he was taken up so high  My protector is gone he fled silently at night  My golden shadow no longer tags a long  Ive been waiting for you every night.. I never meant to cast you away and take your loyalty for granted Tears fall down, i cry for your unconditional love Thank you for making me smile all those times i dint feel alright Thank your for hugging me tight when my heart was broken Thank you for never leaving me behind I was so blessed to have had you in my life My selfish ways would like to have you one last time Devils mission is done