Faithfuldame

I can't sleep tonight... I keep thinking about my Smokey... I've been trying to avoid thinking about you since that dreadful day I had to put u to sleep. I miss you so much..you were the only reason I started liking cats ... You were so special to me. Never in a million years that I think one little gray cat could make me so happy. I love all my pets.. But you smokey hold a special place in my heart ...we had a special bond... I still remember you as fluffy kitten how adorable and fluffy u were. You were so playful, I loved taking you in the car. I loved sleeping and snuggling with you at night, I always felt safe with my gray cat. I hated you going outside cuz I was scared u would get hurt. But I loved seeing u in the sun..I loved the way you looked on top of tree and the way your gray coat complemented the green grass. But most of all I loved when you returned home. I loved seeing you run home from a distant. I loved how grumpy you were. You always knew your name and would al

Lord please help me... I don't know my self well enough. I've been growing impatient. I get anxiety and scared... All I want is to feel free... I want to loose control and let the night take me...

Its been a while since i last written... Life is moving forward .... and in a good way i believe. I thank God  for all the beautiful changes in my life. it is true with faith anything is possible. I still find my self dealing with anxiety now and then, i over analyze too much but im learning to better cope with things and im trying to be stronger and patient. Love has found me once again.. after years of hiding it found me, quiet unexpected. But a very beautiful surprise. I don't know whats in store for me in the future but i find my self very confidant and happy at the moment, i truly feel i have Gods blessing on this one. I never thought i could feel this way again, at least not for a long time. To be honest this love is so different from my previews one. This relationship is so beautiful in many ways... ive never been this honest with anyone or this comfortable. This love is truly pure .. We respect each other and are very loving toward one another, its amazing to see things w

I'm Lost and Lonely, Living in a world without you. But I have No Fear, because now I'm Justified and I'm not living In the Shadows. In my Life, I feel Guilty but I'm Still Standing. I've been Shot by the Ghost of Love. Now I sail away, from Lucifer's Angel and remember the First Day of my Life.

Life is getting better... So many dreams and goals i wish to accomplish. I don't have anything to hold me back anymore. Im a little scared but i am very determined. I know the Navy is the best choice for me, it will take me out of my comfort zone and challenge me. Its going to be a lonely life and i prolly wont have a significant other, but i need to learn to be on my own and happy before i can even try to get into a relationship.I cant let what happen in my last relationship happen again. Putting my dreams to a stop for someone that drop me in a heartbeat. I resented him a lot and i became bitter. I suppose God has someone for me that will be patient and understanding toward me. All my life ive been overly protected and to an extend secluded from the world and lectured about culture. I want to live my life to the fullest.. i wanna explore the world and meet new people. And when the time is right id like to meet someone to be with, because in the end i would like to have my happy

                                                                     This i a topic i have been avoiding and in denial about.... LOVE..... Love is a quality given to us by our Lord, its beautiful... i want to keep loving ..id like to fight for love but its not always so easy ... Besides my family theirs a few people i love with all my heart.. some have been so loyal and trust worthy, that it still blows my mind to realize this person really exist .. others have come into my life as mentors and comfort me with kind words and they remind me of what i want out of life..and then their are others that are just make me laugh and its very easy to love them in fact you didn't even realized u love them, u just enjoy them. All the people i love in my life are very dear to me.. sometimes its hard for me to show affection..or unfortunately the people i love think i don't feel the same. But that's not true.. the people i love are prolly the rare people that get to know the real me. I f