Faithfuldame

I leave this December with a piece of my heart gone but never forgotten. God added a new angel for me up in heaven, since i have four on earth :) As the end of the year approaches i have a bitter sweet feeling inside... I have many dreams and resolutions for the up coming year. I pray to God that i will be able to conquer my fears and that my dreams will come true. i seek happiness and joy, I see things in their true form,enchanted and beautiful... It doesn't have to be pretty or pleasant. Sorrow,anger,and happiness are all emotions that can be beautiful in their own way. On that note, Christmas is my favorite holiday :) its so magical for me. from the gorgeous decorations to the story of the birth of Christ .... everything just seems so warm and cozy :) Im so thankful that God has blessed me with my animals. At this very moment i feel very content and grateful. My mind is full of thoughts... plans and dreams mostly... its very much like a fairy tale. This is only the start of man...

Love can be so so beautiful and rewarding if done the right way. Sex is not love, you don't have to have sex with someone for them to love you and be committed to you. At the same time love can be so painful, giving your trust to someone is a hard thing to do. I am 21 years old and about two years ago i decided, i wanted to stop fucking around, and i don't mean that literally but emotionally. I wasted a lot of time on a x boyfriend that can never get back, and now that look back on it i should have seen the red flags. I myself wasn't a complete angel, i would provoke him numerous times. but i wasn't happy, now i know he was only an escape from my problems at home and obstacles. Regardless of the shitty codependent relationship i had conformed to, i still cared for him. That's why when i found out of his betrayal it hurt so bad, i felt like someone had just thrown a giant rock on my heart. I had hit rock bottom. But this wasn't me and deep down i knew he wasn...

Now that the holidays are here, i miss you more and more.... Regrets are pouring from my mind I lie awake awaiting for your return, that will never come I seized the day to turn me numb because i cant seem to say Goodbye My companion is gone, he was taken up so high  My protector is gone he fled silently at night  My golden shadow no longer tags a long  Ive been waiting for you every night.. I never meant to cast you away and take your loyalty for granted Tears fall down, i cry for your unconditional love Thank you for making me smile all those times i dint feel alright Thank your for hugging me tight when my heart was broken Thank you for never leaving me behind I was so blessed to have had you in my life My selfish ways would like to have you one last time Devils mission is done

Rammstein ft. T.a.T.u  "Mein Herz brennt " German : Mein Herz Brennt Sie kommen zu euch in der Nacht. Dämonen, Geister, schwarze Feen. Sie kriechen aus dem Kellerschacht und werden unter euer Bettzeug sehen. Nun liebe Kinder, gebt fein Acht! Ich bin die Stimme aus dem Kissen. Ich hab euch etwas mitgebracht, ein heller Schein am Firmament. Mein Herz brennt! Sie kommen zu euch in der Nacht und stehlen eure kleinen heißen Tränen. Sie warten, bis der Mond erwacht und drücken sie in meine kalten Venen. Nun liebe Kinder, gebt fein Acht! Ich bin die Stimme aus dem Kissen. Ich singe bis der Tag erwacht, ein heller Schein am Firmament. Mein Herz brennt! x 4 English translation My heart is burning . Show me  (x6) Show me love!!!! Show me because im with you                                      ...

Im like in love with these vintage style pumps!!! i think ankle straps are so sexy and they make your legs look wayyyy hoter!!!!

So things are starting to come into motion... Actions are finally being taken and risk will soon be taken. Im fighting for my dreams to come true, i have so many goals. I know its not going to be easy but at least i can say i tried my hardest. I wanna live my life to the fullest!!!! :) I pray to God that everything will go well and that he will guide me to my destination. I have to have complete faith.... People told me just conform and live a risk free life... But that's not me.. I rather die trying than only living because im breathing.. Im tired of seeing my life pass me by  like falling rain drops .... So i have obstacles? and what? what matters is what am i going to do about it? I DESERVE joy and happiness. People will never know how i feel unless they're in my shoes... What do they know about dreaming????? I may struggle to make it there but im not turning back. This is my journey... Friends come and go, money comes and goes, boyfriends come and go... I cant fully count o...

Dita Von teese is so gorgeous, She keeps it classy while being sexy. She has an amazing body :) And Rose Mcgowen is a great actress with that classic look both have porcelain skin. A lot people have been comparing the two because they were both with Marilyn Manson but i think they are both gorgeous in their own right :) When i start making videos i plan on doing tutorials on both these dames :)

I think it looks soooo beautiful on some people ....                                           Mayb ill take a risk and give it a try some time lol

                                                  REST IN PEACE                                                   Puppy Whoups                                                     2003-2011 I love you and im going to miss you very much, You were my gua...

I have really bad astigmatism :/

I asked God ... I asked God to take away my pain. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. Her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations, it isn't granted, it is earned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings, Happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things. I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me. God said... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea! [ author unknown ]

Today i met up with my dear friend Evon, and it was everything i expected and more. Our age difference makes not burden or difference, when we both love Christ. We were born in the same kingdom and we try to carry on our faith. We inspire each other and do not judge each other. Today i received yet another, out look on life. I have to keep strong and fight this depression. i cannot think of leaving earth when theirs a plan i must fulfill. I know its gonna be hard. Ive been very negative lately, thinking about the horrors of the world, and looking at my own life. Wishing that i could be 4 years old again and think was a fairy tale and everything was possible in life, I wish i was special... i wish i had a happy ending... But then i realized, i do have that. However my story is not done yet. My father is the King of kings and that makes me his princess :) and He loves me. Surely he has a bigger plan for me then i thought. I have to always remember that. Im breathing for a reason... One d...

These past two months have been really hard for me.. My German Shepard died unexpectedly and my Cat got bitten by a brown recluse spider, i thought i almost lost him. He is going to be completely heal in 6 to 8  months..Having family problems never makes things easier.I have always believed in God but i never had a personal relationship with him and tried to get to know Him. Over a year ago, i hit rock bottom and i was so lost. I met Evon a older women, who became like my inspirational mentor. She has had a tough life as well and has made many mistakes.However she learned from them. The one thing i admire the most about Evon is that she doesn't just preach the word of God, she actually takes her own advice. You see her and you would never think she has such great bond with the lord. Although her life is not easy she has joy in her life, and that's what i am seeking.  Now i have found God but sometimes i find my self lost again. So i am meeting my dear friend tomorrow for yet a...

Honey,Lemon, and Sugar A half a lemon juice with a table spoon of Honey in a small cup, pop it in the micro for 5 sec. With a sponge smear it all over your face. Let it sit for 30 min and rinse of with warm water . Honey kills bacteria and softens skin. Lemon juice brightens the skin , and Sugar exfoliates the skin, removing all dead skin cells. I do this mask 4 days a week and i rarely get acne :)

Mkay  so a lot of people ask me or tell me, " you have flawless skin!"  " What kind of foundation do u use" ' prolly a expensive one, huh?'  Personally i have always been fond of the 50's and 60's look, i love the porcelain doll look. My favorite Disney Princess is snow white. So over the years ive mastered how to capture that look with out looking like your a cake face!! :p So im going to share with you my coveted foundation routine step by step, Enjoy !!!  Step 1 Preparing Prepare your face by using a moisturizer any kind will do, i personally like to use one with SPF :) After add your favorite face sun screen to protect your face from the sun Then add your favorite face primer. i like using NYX  its very affordable and works well. This will help your makeup stay longer. Step 2 Foundation time I like to put a light layer of Maybelline Dream mousse foundation all over  my face, using a make up sponge After with a concealer brush I use a sma...

A Letter From God To girls, from God. “No man will ever claim you unless he claims you from Me. For I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves Me even more than he will ask for you. For I won’t give you unless he asks you from Me. He’s asleep; don’t wake him. He’s busy for me, my kingdom. Soon you will know him, but I have the perfect time. You are my princess, my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from My hand, for I am your Father, the King of Kings. You, my princess, are worth loving for.”

My Precious Daughter (A love letter from God to His Daughters) My precious daughter, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you, I will be faithful until the end, You are more than just "my daughter" You are my princess, My beloved, my delight, I rejoice in you, You are beautiful, You shine with light, You have dove's eyes, I rejoice in you with singing, I will quiet you with my love, Hold you in my arms, Never let you go, For you are never alone, You never have been alone, I've been with you all along, Your whole life, I understand your pain, My sacrifice wasn't for nothing, Let me tell you I understand your confusion, I understand your anger and frustration, I understand your tears, And I care, Very much, For you, Everything that is important to you, Is important to me too, My love for you will never end, I will not leave you for another, I will not abandon you ever, No matter...

I purchased Revlon pastel lip glosses in Peach and lilac .  I recommend them for people that like soft colors :)  The lilac is beautiful and a great fall look :) My favorite color is peach so of course i like the peach the only problem i had with it was that it looked kinda white. im assuming because of my natural  lip color. So i would recommend to put a peach or nude lip liner or stain :)

Spooky babyyyyy!!!!!

Mac's Lavender whip   Mac's Ravishing  Nyx's Orange Soda

Im gonna have a very lucky husband one day ...  

Another reason why i wanna move to Finland one day...  

This feeling of loneliness resides in me my sadness is forever engraved in my heart The power of love brought me to life  Only to let me fall again Watching over me your light shined through I feel the love so unconditional The angels are my witness beholding my heart The taste of honey reminds me of your love The winters isn't as cold anymore Memories unlock and the sadness lingers through me once again My long time friend Solitude haunts me again  Faithful as he was his, he was not enough My freezing numbness slowly melts away..

Sometimes i feel like i am loosing my faith... I feel so alone in this world..My purpose is not always so crystal clear. But when i regain my focus everything makes sense although its hard at times. I call to Him when i am weak, i have to never doubt and because He is pure love.