Love or something like it

  Been very confused lately ... i know it all goes back to the same reason, not living my life to the fullest. Ah well life is moving forward. i do see a change in my life, maybe not as fast as i like it to be  but its going. Im trying to be strong and remain my true self but at times i don't even know who i really am. Ive been trying to please everyone for so long that i forget what i want. i became so tired of being defiant that it was much easier to conform. I just wanna be free.... I want to be a good person, live my life to the fullest, and i want love.... i know right now love is impossible for me...but i do dream about my happy ending and although Ive known some pretty bad guys, i still have hope. We all need love, its only natural. i suppose... But i always have the worst luck with that. Being the hopeless romantic that i am, i always put all my faith on someone who would surely break it. It is much easier and wiser to put all my faith and love in God because i know he wont betray me. Ive been able to remain single for almost 3 years and yes it gets lonely ... it sux when you see people around you falling in love and getting married ... i suppose if i wanted to i could be married right now but i know it wouldn't be to the right person. Is it stupid to dream for a prince charming? Do i ask for too much? Maybe its because my mission is not done yet, it hasn't really started. I don't believe i ask for much i just want to be happy , i want joy in my life. i don't need that in material things or fancy things. I would just like to find a man that will always be by my side, through all the bullshit. Someone i could be my self with , someone that will lift me higher instead of pushing me down. Someone that will make me laugh and chill out and enjoy the little things. Someone to spend the rest of my life with because he will be enough.  In return i would promise to be loyal and understanding and do anything to make that person happy, i would never betray and will always support all his decisions and stand next to him proud to be his wife. I guess that might be to good to be true, reading it sounds like bliss but out of this world. Regardless i believe in God has a good man for me, just have to be patient. So ill keep walking this lonely road, keeping my eyes on the prize and trying to enjoy the ride.

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