Crazy little thing called love.....

                                                                    
This i a topic i have been avoiding and in denial about.... LOVE..... Love is a quality given to us by our Lord, its beautiful... i want to keep loving ..id like to fight for love but its not always so easy ... Besides my family theirs a few people i love with all my heart.. some have been so loyal and trust worthy, that it still blows my mind to realize this person really exist .. others have come into my life as mentors and comfort me with kind words and they remind me of what i want out of life..and then their are others that are just make me laugh and its very easy to love them in fact you didn't even realized u love them, u just enjoy them. All the people i love in my life are very dear to me.. sometimes its hard for me to show affection..or unfortunately the people i love think i don't feel the same. But that's not true.. the people i love are prolly the rare people that get to know the real me. I feel free.. i can be my true self.. and i appreciate that very much... ive been fucked over one way or another.. ive managed to stay single for almost 3 years after i got cheated on by my first love.. i cant tell u how insecure and paranoid that makes you feel.. its hard for me to trust people .. even when i love them so much, i still find it hard to trust them bcuz i feel like they are gonna leave one day. My childhood my dad was a hard ass, never showed love and though i hate to admit it their was a lot mental abuse and know i realize how it has effected me. Because of it sometimes i never feel good enough and im scared of love. that's why sometimes i rather walk away than be left or faced with some sort of rejection or betrayal.  but now that im aware of this i try to change it. because sometimes the people i love the most are the people i push away because im scared of what they bring out of me. Having my faith has helped a lot. I love loving :) but it hurts sometimes. Im hopeless romantic ... so when i do decide to give my heart to that person, i give it all . Its very scary for me.. I just hope one day i can find a man that will understand this and be patient with me. Right now theirs a lot changes coming into my life that people are not aware of.. but i hope that the people who love me will be patient and trust me. If i found a someone who will love me unconditionally and respect me, i promise as God is my witness to always love them and stand by them proud to be their wife... LOVE NEVER FAILS...

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